What Do You Think?

Well, things have certainly changed quite a bit in my life in the past month and a half. My husband, who has worked from home for 4 years was forced to go back to work at a corporation. He leaves before I get up and returns between 8:30 and 10:00. My oldest went back to college and my youngest began high school. He plays football and comes home around 6:00.

There was a time when that sounded like a dream - oh to have time to myself... But having too much time puts a pit in my stomach. Hubby just went on a business trip across the country and he was gone for 4 days. I have had too much quiet time. Being an eternal thinker, quiet time can be dangerous for me. I have been contemplating "what to do with the rest of my life" for too long, now, and it is getting the better of me. I have felt happy, but "unwhole" for such a long time. It is all I ever think of. I know what I wish for, and I believe in dreams. I believe in making your dreams come true... I just don't know how to make that happen. I am not a go getter, but I have talents that I know have value. I just don't know how to sell myself. I'm not sure if I even have that desire. That is scary. My comfort level is in doing my craft, but not in the selling of it. I find amazing enthusiasm in being around others who share my passions. I'm just no good at being a one woman team.

One of the decisions that I have come to terms with is that I would love to work with other creative people. My energy swells. But with no degrees in anything that I ended up liking to do, I can't even send in my resume to the lowest level jobs. That is taking away my empowerment. I would love to work as a baker's assistant. A baker would be lucky to have me assist, but all of the help wanteds require years of experience as well as degrees. I don't even have retail experience. I could not even land a counter help job! What do I do?

If anyone knows of someone who is looking for a business partner for a home based baking business, jewelry business, knitting business, or any kind of crafting, please send them my way. I just want a partner. I need someone who I can bounce ideas and energy off of, and someone who is able to sell and create buzz. I'll create product 24 hours a day.

And another thing. I can't seem to decide if it is alright to be myself on my blog, or keep it strictly business. I'm a talker and a worrier, and I tend to write when I am upset. I just don't want to give the wrong impression.

Too Much Thinking...

I needed some time away. I had some thinking to do. I'm that kind of gal. Some things happened with my customers that put me in a spin. I know that I am supposed to be tougher. Believe me. My husband has told me that a time or two. He tells me that having a business is not an emotional journey. I don't know if I'll ever be totally there, but I am learning...one situation at a time.

It all began with an exciting order for 6 dozen cookies. They were for a party on the upcoming weekend. I am always honored when someone decides to choose my baking for their event. And when you are starting out, each event is an opportunity for others to experience your work. My customer paid for her order and told me that Paypal incorrectly put it through as a check. I was disappointed because that left me having to choose between waiting for her check to go through, which would put the order arriving too late, or trusting and coming through for her in a pinch. I made my decision, knowing the chances. I wanted to believe that no one would steal baked goods. Someone stole baked goods.

I won't bore you with all of the details, but it got more tangled as the days wore on and I shipped the order in a panic to please a customer. The next day, her check came through as bounced and I had to have USPS return the box to me. The cookies were all stale because it took so long. Oh- She closed up her account and ran.

In the week following, I had a few other shipping nightmares. My customers left honest, but not so positive feedback. I began to doubt what I am doing. Shipping these baked goods is very expensive and very difficult to pull off successfully. USPS really has no understanding for FRAGILE. Let me tell you. One of my mistakes was that I was wrapping my cookies so they looked nice. I am going to have to wrap them to stay in one piece. That means that baskets or platters cannot be setup and shipped. I have worked on other techniques and I can assure you that I have tried my best to fix the problem. I don't want to let the difficulties stop me from doing what I love. And I DO love baking for my customers.

So I have decided to crank the oven back up, take out the cookie sheets, and get baking again. I am trying to think of some fun ways to promote my shop :) I am going to think of it as a brick and mortar shop. I'll be having specials on certain days and flavor specials on other days. If you can think of a fun way to celebrate sweets, let me know! You just might find a few goodies on their way to you!

I Made Cinnamon Buns!

I have to be honest, I haven't felt like writing this past week. I usually LOVE to write. I could write all day, but with Josh leaving, Jake getting ready to go to high school and Ira off to a new job, I have felt kind of melancholy. I write when I need to get things out and my mood was to keep things in.

I baked. I wanted to feel like I was accomplishing something. My goal, now that I am home alone, is to start getting out and finding customers, but I need to add some new Autumn flavored choices to my shop, so I took the time to research and try some new recipes. That is my favorite part! It takes longer than you think to come up with the perfect combinations of ingredients, techniques, cooking times, and packaging!


Sin-A-Buns

I have a potential customer who wants to stock her sweet shop with some of my goods {YEAH!} and so I am working on Fall type items that travel well and will keep well. Oh - they have to taste amazing!

For some reason, I kept thinking that cinnamon buns would be a good product, so never having made them before, I began my research. I tried quite a few recipes and techniques until I had, what I consider, the perfect product. I wouldn't stop until I had a light, fluffy, cinnamony, gooey bun. I present you with Sin-A-Buns!



Don't forget that you can have your own with a click of a button at The Cookie Jar. I dare you to stop at one!

I Bought Myself a Gift

I love organic, handmade jewelry. There is something about the unique style that makes me feel like it was made just for me. It seems to have a soul. And I am always all about soul.


Jewelry By Natsuko

I don't buy very much for myself, but once a year, for my birthday, I buy myself a piece of jewelry that I absolutely love. This year, I bought the prettiest little poppy charm from Jewelry By Natsuko on Etsy. Her work is so beautiful that I just had to have a piece! I am loving the depth of glass enamel and the variations of color that she achieves as she carefully applies layer after layer of crushed powdered glass to hand sawn copper discs. The coated metal is then fired to melt the powder into a smooth sheet of glass. It is an amazing process.



Please stop by her shop to view her beautiful work. You won't be sorry!

I just wrote this comment on a friend's blog. She is facing her fears and adjustments regarding becoming a full time stay at home mom. I find myself on the other end of that stage and I just needed to write a little about how right it was for me to be home.

"There is nothing so wonderful as the peace you feel when being fully present in your childrens' lives. And there is no more amazing feeling as knowing you made the right choice.

All this is said as I just watched my Joshua drive off to return to college, 7 hours away. It was soothing to have him home for the past few months, but saying good bye is never easy. And knowing that his return is never the same as it once was is even harder. This is what the love of a child is all about."


Joshua's summer was spent coaching, playing, umpiring, and prepping fields.

There are many changes that are going on in my family at the moment. I don't do well with change. I've learned to try and I've learned to have a little patience, but that same feeling in my stomach is still there. No Matter What. As an adult, I am trying to find the positive in change. But as a person, I want to kick my feet and clench my fists and cry. I know to turn inward and keep a stiff upper lip.

My son just drove off to return to college. I know he is incredibly happy at school, so in that, I take solace. It is about him, not me. We let Wilton free last night. It was much harder to do than I thought. I still caught a glimmer of Jake as a little boy. Those moments are very few and far between these days. I hang on to every moment I can get, because that has been my most favorite part of raising my children. Ira scooped up the rabbit, we each took a turn saying goodbye and he put him on the grass. We thought he would hit the ground running, but he poignantly turned to us, nibbled on some grass, and slowly made his way behind the hydrangea bush.

To add to the change, my neighbor moved out and a new one moved in, Jacob made the football team (YEAH!) and he is starting high school in a new HUGE school with a very early start time. No biggie, but still... And biggest of all, my husband, who has been working from home and then was eventually out of a job, for 5 years, has finally found a new job. That is wonderful and I am so so so happy and relieved, but in the same time, bittersweet in some respects. It has been a long time that he was home and an integral part of our family's life. It is going to be hard to give that up. And if I am being honest, I am going to miss him. That sounds needy and strange because most dads are always at work. We had a different arrangement than most families, and although temporary, not planned and not financially sound, it was wonderful for our children. Now I have to face the music and reality and adjust and prosper. I know I will, but all this at once?

To tie this all together, I am just remembering how grateful I am to have been able to be at home with my children. It ripped my heart in half when I had to go into work for the first 5 years. Although I am not always very confident with my decisions, I knew with out a doubt that I wanted to be home with them. And I would not have changed a thing.

I love you Josh, with all of my heart. Have a wonderful semester.

Jakey's Going to High School

I started the day with an orientation to Jake's new school. I've been through this with Josh, so I am already comfortable with the High School...it's my baby going to High School that I am NOT comfortable with ;[

I guess you really can't stop the clock from ticking.

As far as baking, I'm a little confused. I spent some time baking a delicious Pumpkin Spice cake, crumbling it (felt weird!) and combining it with cream cheese, pumpkin frosting. I dipped them in white chocolate and was soooo excited to taste these amazing treats that everyone raves about. I thought that the combination was great.

Ehhh. I don't get all of the hype! They were ok, but nothing to write home about. Is it me? Or is it everyone else? To be honest, I love the cake and the frosting that I made from scratch. It is the "chocolate" melts that I don't like the flavor of. And the cake/frosting mixture is weird to me. Any comments to change my mind?

Wilton Update

Wilton the bunny has grown! I just wanted to show how much 4 weeks can mean for a baby bunny. Although he has been "in captivity" since he was so tiny, his natural insticts are to be in nature. He won't even let us pet him! It seems like he would be used to us, but alas, he must return to the wild... :[

Jacob, on the other hand, does not agree. We will cal the vet and see what he thinks. I know what I think. I'll let you know what the verdict is.